July and The Importance of Disconnecting
The views expressed on this blog are my own and do not necessarily reflect the views of Art League of Long Island
Disconnecting from time to time is extremely important to me. That’s what I felt like I had to do for part of this month. I had to get away from things, get out of my head. I had to reconnect with myself by disconnecting from myself. I needed a psychological ‘have you tried turning it off and on again?’ moment.
The end of June was immensely draining. The emotional strain of having sick friends and family was, as it always is, difficult to navigate. The feeling of helplessness is always the trickiest. Events will always unfold one way or another regardless of anything you do. I chose to be present during crisis and offer what little I could to those who were sick (they are doing much better; on their way to recovery). Emotionally draining periods like this always feel like I’m holding my breath, functioning (very highly) during acute stress...then it ends and I can finally exhale. The only problem is that I find myself not only exhaling, but also gasping for air. This is usually followed by an intense need to check-out. So I left the country for 2 weeks. It was great! I got to reconnect with my husband. I also got to distance myself from the happenings of the last month, and the last year.
Truth be told, I shirked almost all of my responsibilities to my very new residency program. I don’t love that I chose to do this as I could have sabotaged myself out of an incredible opportunity. Mercifully, the program coordinators are allowing me to double up on volunteer hours and things to make up the difference. It’s funny, I feel more driven since giving myself a break. I may have needed to get out of my head. Is this how it works for other people? You get so caught up in your head, and life, and anxiety, and worry, and fear, that you just need to leave and clear the air for yourself? Or am I some sort of a unicorn?
Cliffs of Moher, Co. Clare, Ireland. Photo taken by Christophe Lima